Wednesday, July 31, 2013

memory keeper

Today, I'm feeling grateful for knitting.  I'm grateful that knitting is a slow process.  I'm grateful that any project takes a long time, and that becoming a Knitter happens over many years, or even a lifetime.

There are a lot of changes happening in my life right now, and some of them are a bit challenging.  But knitting helps me take the long view.

March 2011
I browsed through ravelry today, looking at my previous projects.  I looked at a simple scarf.  No one has favorited it, and it's such a simple project, it's rather forgettable.  Except that at the time I knit it, I was so delighted with so many things, and when I look at those project pictures, I see how happy I am.  I remember winding the ball with my infant daughter in the back seat, and that memory is precious.  I'm so grateful for that little forgettable scarf, because it's helped me remember something very valuable.

October 2010
I looked at pictures of my first wearable sweater.  I'm amazed how long it took me to knit that sweater--months and months!  I know now that I could knock it out in three weeks.  And I would take more care with fit and modifications and yarn selection.  But I was so proud of that garment.  And I see in those pictures that I was still dealing with baby weight 6 months after my daughter was born.  So I should be patient with myself, 3 months after my son is born, and give myself a break for not being down to my pre-pregnancy size.

I like to write, but I've always felt guilty that I don't journal.  I just can't get into a rhythm.  But I knit.  And my knitting is turning out to be a pretty good memory keeper, reminding me of who I was, and the good things and the struggles.  It reminds me of who I want to be, who I've planned to be, how those plans have changed and what things I need to rediscover.

I'm grateful for my queue, and even though it becomes overwhelming occasionally, I'm grateful that it's so long.  I'm glad that there is more out there that I want to do, things to learn, simple projects that just look like fun, things that will trap memories I've yet to make.

I'm grateful for the long view, and I'm grateful that knitting is one thing that keeps me looking up, toward the person I was and to the life greeting me on the horizon. 

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